There’s a tiny part of me that feels a little pleased when people who put on a façade of having a perfect relationship or marriage have it fall apart. Or people who were together for a very long time still end up breaking up. It’s comforting to know that no one is immune from getting dumped.
surreal is the only word I can come up with to describe how it feels when someone you knew from childhood, someone your age, passes away. it’s a different kind of sadness to process. one minute they’re here, living their life, the next they’re gone. no matter how many times it has happened, it still fills me with shock. because any one of us could be next. and it will never be something anyone can get used to, not at this age. we’ve only lived a third of our lives.
too many of the good die young.
If I bother trying online dating again in the future, this is the perfect profile description:
Congratulations, you’ve stumbled upon my profile! Which means you have excellent taste and you’re going to meet your future wife. BUT IT WON’T BE ME. Why? Because I am the one before the one. We’ll exchange some texts and go on a few great dates, and then BAM you’ll meet your future Mrs. I don’t know how or why, however I’ve been bestowed this gift of being an involuntary matchmaker, without ever meeting the other person that I set you up with. Cheers!
And my tagline will be:
Your future girlfriend should thank me.
“It feels a thousand times lonelier to lie next to someone you don’t truly love, than to lie alone.”
happy birthday to me! I survived the first year of my 30s. And what it a year it has been…
“You don’t get to control everything. You can wake up at 5 a.m. every day until you’re tired and broken, but if the words or the painting or the ideas don’t want to come to fruition, they won’t. You can show up every day to your best intentions, but if it’s not the time, it’s just not the fucking time. You need to give yourself permission to be a human being.
Sometimes the novel is not ready to be written because you haven’t met the inspiration for your main character yet. Sometimes you need two more years of life experience before you can make your masterpiece into something that will feel real and true and raw to other people.
Sometimes you’re not falling in love because whatever you need to know about yourself is only knowable through solitude. Sometimes you haven’t met your next collaborator. Sometimes your sadness encircles you because, one day, it will be the opus upon which you build your life.”