If I bother trying online dating again in the future, this is the perfect profile description:

Congratulations, you’ve stumbled upon my profile! Which means you have excellent taste and you’re going to meet your future wife. BUT IT WON’T BE ME. Why? Because I am the one before the one. We’ll exchange some texts and go on a few great dates, and then BAM you’ll meet your future Mrs. I don’t know how or why, however I’ve been bestowed this gift of being an involuntary matchmaker, without ever meeting the other person that I set you up with. Cheers!

And my tagline will be:

Your future girlfriend should thank me.

 

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